TheTipsyLipsy

It's still fresh in my memory when I celebrated my 17th birthday!!! Stars hotel, birthday cake, live band performance, food and drink everywhere, lots of guest, bunch of gifts, I even gave souvenir for my party guests. I feel so teenager !!!

"Me 2 Months After the Party"
Still a teenager, going 18th and pregnant.

"Me 7 Months After the Party"
After I came out with the fact I'm pregnant to my family, I feel so realesed! The decision had been made. I'm keeping the baby. Hoorrraaayyyyy !!! A bunch of thanks for my family, especially for my mom !!! Tapi ada satu peraturan penting; gue ga boleh berhubungan lagi ama cowok gue dengan cara apapun. Untuk ketemuan kayaknya ga mungkin, secara gue ga boleh pergi sendirian and he lives in different town. By phone juga susah karena gue ga boleh pegang hp lagi. And You know what? Gue diungsiin ke rumah sodara gue, out of town off course! Sebelumnya gue sempet ketemu ama dia waktu dia dateng ke rumah sodara gue untuk nyelesein semua. Solusi yang diambil nikah dibawah tangan saat itu juga. Kalo bukan karena Tuhan & status si bayi, kayaknya keluarga gue ga bakal rela gue nikah ama dia. Well, whatever happen, let it happen...

"Miracle"
The first time I seen my baby (USG), I felt like I'm gonna cried. Rasanya ga bisa gue ungkapin deh. It feels like a miracle!!! A life growing inside me!!! I never felt so needed by somebody before like my baby need me to keep survive. At this point, I decide to be tougher. Gue harus tabah demi anak gue.

"The Fact About My Feeling"
I'm not that tough! Gue nangis tiap malem. I feel so alone and lonely. I drown in the depression (the pregnancy hormones fluctuation make it worst). I never tought that I had to faced this kind of situation by my self. I supposed to be a happy mom to be with the couple by my side. But in reality, he's not there. Stupid me, I denied the fact that he such a coward. Ngumpet2 gue masih komunikasi ama dia by phone. I tought he want to know about the baby. I told him every little things that happen; the first baby moves, the USG result, everything!!! I tought he's happy as I am. Well, let say I am stupidly deniable because when I think again this time, he such a fake bastard.

"My Pregnancy"
My pregnancy is kind a shock therapy not only me but also my family. But still it's a precious moment in my life. I never forget the feeling when my baby moving around inside my womb. The excitement when I attended the gynecolog routine visit. I even amazed with my roller coaster mood changes.

"What a Moment"
This experience change me somehow. Something added to my life. New things that I found really interesting. I always love babies & kids. Well, I'm gonna get mine soon. It doesn't matter if I cannot be normal like other teenager. I knew that I'm special somehow. Whatever judgement people address to pregnant teenager like me, I don't care. What I did maybe a mistake, but not my baby. My baby is the most right thing in my life.